As far as great mysteries go, this one isn’t.
It’s more of a conundrum, an odd puzzle. Still, it’s driving me crazy just the same. I have theories, but none make any sense. I’d love to hear more.
So, my wife and I bought a nice fat, round and warty pumpkin Monday. We put it, uncarved, on our front steps Monday night and went about our business. We planned to carve it up closer to Halloween but in the mean time, it looked nice and cheery and orange.
Anyway, I woke up Tuesday morning and went out to walk the dog and it was gone, all but the tip of the stem. That was left, discarded, on my front step to taunt me. That’s what I thought.
Now, I recalled the days of my misspent youth and figured that the fat little pumpkin was smooshed into the road somewhere around us. Some youthful miscreant had taken it, and smashed it with his giggling buddies and that was that. I cursed the evil doer and moved on.
No big deal.
Thing is, my neighbors have pumpkins, fat and orange, all over their front steps — and not smooshed in the slightest bit. They are still there, entirely unmolested.
What’s more, I haven’t noticed any pumpkin guts on the surrounding streets. Odd, but not a big deal.
But this afternoon, it reappeared. I walked out into my backyard to check on my dog and his rollicking best friend and they were chewing on my pumpkin. Somehow, it had migrated from the front of the house to the back over the course of five days.
I examined it. Yes, it was the same warty skin and in pretty good shape except for a single abrasion across the top where the dogs got a hold of it.
Now, I was in the yard earlier in the morning and it was not there. I’ve been out all week and it wasn’t there.
And I can’t figure out what happened. Did my dog see me leave out on the front and run around just before bed time and stash it? Did ad overzealous squirrel try and snatch it away then get tired of lugging it around? Or did the youthful miscreant steal it and then have a change of heart five days later and gift it to my dog and his buddy?
Or did something more sinister happen, a rip in the fabric of time and space pull the pumpkin from Monday night and leave it close by on Sunday afternoon?
My dog was the only witness and he’s not talking.