Things that just occurred to me, in no particular order

Beyond tomorrow

A few days ago, I muttered the following nonsensical statement in plain view of other people, with my bare face hanging out and everything:

“Well, you know, I never follow anyone on Twitter until I run them through FollowCost. You never know when someone you follow might end going nuclear, you know, and who needs that?”

The person that sits across from me, the sage Lindsay Tice (@ltice to Twitter folk) looked at me and said “That’s a sentence that wouldn’t have made a damn bit of sense two years ago.”

Then she added: “I wonder what we’ll be saying in two years that make no sense today.”

Really good point, especially considering politics. If you would have told me, just three months ago, that conservatives would have been walking around talking about “Teabagging this” and “Teabagging that” in complete seriousness I just would not have bought it. (Sometimes I think reality is written by an author with a profoundly twisted sense of humor, and he probably blogs for Daily Kos in his spare time.)

The best I could come up with at the time was  “Soylent green gives me gas, and these damn VR goggles give me a headache.”

But, hey, anyone can do better than that. So I  opened it up on Twitter. Here are some of the responses I got. Feel free to come up with your own:

  • “Did they let Rush and Cheney out of Guantanamo yet?”
  • “My plasma car loses power at 15,000 feet.”
  • “You know, I liked my iPhone better before they made thumbs obsolete.”
  • “It’s really cold here on Mars.”
  • “I like the new GPS implants, but man, they itch.”
  • “Hey, man, know where I can score a latte?”
  • “I’m glad the economy turned around, but the follicle tax is a little much.”
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Comments on: "Beyond tomorrow" (7)

  1. “Mom, tell me again how Sean Hannity suffered rectal trauma way back when?”

  2. Kansas City Royals win third consecutive World Series.

  3. “Mom, what was a newspaper?”

  4. Vacation specials to the Island of California!

  5. Overcrowding reported as shoppers swarm Lisbon Street in Lewiston.

  6. Just thought of another:
    “Well, she’s a fine actress and I think she has a real stage presence. But she’s no Miley Cyrus.”

  7. Miss Merlene said:

    I am Barbara Walters, and I am on Twitter tweating.

    Oh, wait…that is true!

    Does that mean that Twittering is twashed?

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